CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE 

Before the mountains were born 

or you brought forth the whole world, 

from everlasting to everlasting, you are God.  Psalm 90:2 

Then, without anyone saying it’s time to go, the four of us stand up.   

The Steam Team walk through the expansive lodge room. We notice a guest book log labeled “Bear Sightings”. People noted on the pages where they saw bears while hiking. Park rangers use the information to keep track of the furry families whose homes hikers have wandered through. 

Stalker C kids, “Where’s my bell?” Her eyes look from us to the book as we read over the locations bears have been seen in recent days and weeks. 

“Look,” I point, changing our focus. “There’s a restaurant on this level.” 

Hunger for a meal beckons me for the first time in what seems like a long time. The restaurant has tall wood ceilings, a large fireplace and a similar view to the lodge upper deck. Other patrons have eaten and departed. We are the last potential customers of the morning. The clang of dishes and flatware are heard as tables are bused. 

SunFloJo is the driver, “You girls want to get a hearty breakfast before we head north?” 

You bet we do! 

I can’t help but think, if we were traveling with the men in my family over the years and had eight hours of driving ahead of us, there is no way they’d want to sit down to a fancy breakfast.  –But alas, we’re all women. Let’s enjoy it! 

And enjoy we did. Biscuits, gravy, eggs, pancakes, bacon, grits…so good! 

The sounds of “mmm” and “delicious” and “pass me another…” fills our table and the hollow dining hall. 

We walk feeling full and blessed back to the CRV.  

Then, before we leave the park, we stop again. 

“We haven’t tried those blackberry milkshakes that people on the trail talked about,” I say. 

“And we need gas,” says SunFloJo.  

I love a girls’ trip.  

We are relaxed and still willing to adventure. 

We walk into Midway Market which is also a gas station next to one of the Shenandoah Park exits.  Stalker C and Sunshine Rat consider audacious souvenirs.   

“Should we get a giant deer resin knickknack or a bear family t-shirt?” They ask me. 

My answer, “Neither.” We smile. 

I walk over to the snack shack side, “One blackberry milkshake and 4 straws please.” 

SunFloJo walks in. I have two straws in the cup so far. I offer her a drink.  

She affirms, “It is as good as they say.” 

I take a drink. We join the girls, and everyone tries the famous shake, “Mmmm! So good!” Then the girls go back to shopping. 

I turn toward the door and what do ya know, in walks Tank and Frodo! 

“Hi,” I say. 

Frodo recognizes us in the daylight, “We’re stopping in here before seeing some sights today. We’re taking an off day.” 

“No packs?” 

“Nah, left ‘em and all our new groceries–thanks to you Trail Angel gals—back in our bear box.” 

“Cool.” 

Tanks says as the girls walk up, “We’re going to hike down to some falls and back up. We’re just carrying water for the day.” 

They’re hiking on their off day. Wow. 

Sunshine Rat says, “Sounds fun.” 

“Is everyone done with this?” I say to the Steam Team about the blackberry shake. All agree with a nod.  

I offer the cup to the guys, “Here’s one of those blackberry shakes people talk about. We have two new straws if you want it.” 

Frodo and Tank shrug a “yes”.  I hand them the wrapped straws. 

The six of us walk outside together toward SunFloJo’s vehicle. 

Tank and Sunshine Rat chat. They really could be so cute together.  

Darn fiancé, I think as SunFloJo, Stalker C and I get into the car. 

Sunshine Rat rejoins us in a few minutes. 

“Did he say ‘see you at the wedding’?” SunFloJo asks. 

“Oh yes,” Sunshine Rat responds. “He’ll see us in Vermont. I will get the details and dress together. He can walk there by Labor Day.” 

Laughter starts with the CRV engine. 

SunFloJo backs out of our parking spot. We drive toward Skyline Drive. 

The group stares at the mountains we’ve climbed or called home for most of the week. 

Soon we find our way to the valley and hit a major highway. 

The girls snooze in the backseat. SunFloJo and I softly talk about life, true friendship, and family. 

Hours fly by and then we hear, “Look!”   

Stalker C points to a billboard that says “Jerky Mall. The most jerky you’ll ever see.” 

Sunshine Rat chimes in, “Jerky is life.” 

SunFloJo says, “Then we must go.” 

Off the exit, the bright yellow store has sweet jerky, tangy jerky, extra meaty jerky, gater jerky, pineapple jerky and on and on. It is floor to ceiling jerky. I’ve never seen so much dried meat in one place. 

I’m on my last 5 dollars. And I don’t want more jerky, so it is easy to refrain. 

Back on the road with a few more miles behind us, SunFloJo shouts, “Turtle!” 

We pull over and jump out to turn a turtle in the opposite direction from the road. Apparently, this is a thing.   

“When you see a turtle in harm’s way, just turn them around so they walk toward safety,” SunFloJo says.   

We pass around the hand sanitizer. 

More exits fly by, then we see two dogs on the highway. We pull over. The dogs run down an exit ramp and back to what we hope is their home. 

I think of Deb who knows how much SunFloJo cares about animals. 

I text Deb—ANIMAL RESCUES TAKING PLACE ON OUR DRIVE BACK. FYI, WE ARE ALL SAFE AND SOUND. 

Deb texts—YAY! GLAD YOU’RE ALL OK. NO SURPRISE ON THE ANIMAL RESCUES OTHER THAN IT MAY HAVE TAKEN A WEEK FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, LOL. 

I look forward to reconnecting with her again.   

Perhaps also thinking of Deb, SunFloJo says to our fully awake vehicle, “Has anyone thought more about Deb’s end of journey question?” 

We begin the transition from our trail names to our given names. 

“I have,” Stalker C says. Courtney continues, “I think I felt like myself on the trail. I went into the trip looking forward to the exercise. And I like to exercise, but I am forever changed because of our relationships not the exercise.” 

“How so?” asks SunFloJo. JoAnn encourages Courtney, “Tell us more.” 

Courtney says, “I realize that there are people in my life who are not as easy going as the four of us were on this trip. There are people in my life who would have freaked out when things did not go as planned—and by freak out I mean more than I did. I have realized they aren’t good friends. I couldn’t really count on them if the going gets tough.” She pauses, then, “I am going to minimize the number of people in my life who are not in relationship with me in a mutual way.” 

“Nice,” Sunshine Rat says. And Rachel continues, “I thought similarly about those types of relationships and how not to settle so much going forward. On the trail, I liked the feeling of being my real true self at all times.” 

“Interesting,” Surrender says. I continue, “Any more on that thought?” 

“Not yet,” Rachel says.  “I’m still pondering, but very much thinking along the same lines as Courtney.” 

“How about you, JoAnn?” I ask. 

JoAnn responds, “I learned that while I can do this, meaning the AT, I do not want to do any part of it completely alone. I learned the value of having a team or partner. This was an excellent recon mission. And for me personally I valued the feeling of simplicity. We didn’t over think anything.” 

–out loud. We didn’t over think anything out loud.  

“Aww. Simplicity. Love that.” I ask, “Do you plan to do sections each year? Like the twins we met?” 

JoAnn says, “I think so.” 

Courtney adds, “And you get to start a decade sooner than them. Cool.” 

Rachel asks me, “How about you, Glenna?” 

“Hmm. I am the same person in that I still feel determined in whatever quest I’m up to. I’m different because I’ve never spent so much time outdoors. It made me feel powerful to survive together and just figure it out as we went along. Also, I released a lot of anger. My brain feels so clear now. I love the feeling of being clear minded. I’m going to do things in my life so that I can maintain clarity and seek daily relationship with my Higher Power.” 

Courtney adds, “Yes! My mind feels clear too. Clarity feels so good. No brain clutter.” 

Rachel says, “On the trail, we could only focus on one thing at a time. Basic survival focus helped us stay clear minded.”  

Rachel adds, “And did you notice that during our scariest times we were only a quarter mile or so from finding the solution? I’m going to remember that. Our darkest moments were always right before our best moments.” 

So true! 

We look out our windows, reflecting for a few miles. 

We have one last gift from Deb beyond the trip questions. The peanut butter pretzels are gone. The Slim Jims are gone. The iced animal crackers are gone. The one last gift is a $50 card to Cracker Barrel. Crazy, but at the end of this long travel driving day I still feel like I could eat—a lot—and so does everyone else.   

There is no Cracker Barrel along the AA Highway, but we circle around to Florence, KY and stop at exit 182 as the sky starts to turn pink in the west. 

We inhale four Chicken and Dumplings dinners. Food tastes so good today after a week of not caring much about what or if I ate. 

JoAnn drives us to my house.   

“I’m hoooo-ohmmmme,” I say as I go into the house to grab the girls’ car keys. At her request, I drive Courtney’s car out of our garage and put it into park. 

As the ladies hug, offer encouragement and good-byes for the Steam Team in the driveway, Paul and our sons smile, watching from the porch. Mom made it home. Paul leans on the rail. I see relief on his face. 

Home feels good. I hear and smell our familiar suburb: the fresh cut grass, the neighborhood lights come on, children play. My annual daisies have bloomed right on time to welcome me. 

I watch Courtney and Rachel pull away.   

JoAnn follows them, rolling down her windows and blaring the song “Born to be Wild” one more time. 

In this moment, I hold on to the peace.  

I take a deep breath and exhale. 

We did a thing. We climbed mountains, crossed rivers, met others including ourselves in new ways. 

I wave good-bye. 

What I didn’t know then was that there were more mountains to climb soon. This trip prepared my heart in ways I could not imagine at the time.  

The End 

IN MEMORY OF 

Kevin David Timmerding

Also known as “Flat Kevin” in the story. 

1973-2017 

You’ve done it! Thanks for reading or listening to the podcast. This won’t be the last time you’ll hear of Surrender on the Trail, so please subscribe on my home page or follow me on social media. I appreciate you.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR 

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.  Isaiah 26: 3-4 

Sunshine Rat says, “What if we empty the car into the bear box, lay down the back seats, and then sleep in the car?” 

Body language that we barely can read in the dark seems to agree, so we get to work. First, we put on our headlamps.  

As the thunder and lightning teases the atmosphere, we gather everything we can fit in our arms and take it up the small incline to the bear box. 

We brush teeth quickly in the most glorious and welcomed concrete block bathroom. Then we nestle inside the CRV. The girls thrash about in the back until they make comfortable spots. SunFloJo leans back the driver’s seat, and I lean back the passenger seat. 

I unfastened my bra and wonder if my legs will get a blood clot by morning in this somewhat scrunched position. I tell myself that I will wake up enough times to adjust my legs. 

Into the dark car I make up a story, “Well, Sunshine. You heard him. Tank will be in Vermont by Labor Day to marry you. Your mom can rest assured you’re not going to be single forever.” 

The car erupts in giggles. Of course, everyone agrees with my fiction.   

The Steam Team agrees to meet in Vermont for Tank & Sunshine’s big day.  

As the car occupants consider sleep, I add, “Guess who is camping next door?”  

“Who?” Stalker C asks. 

“Shut-Up-Guy.” 

“What?!” SunFloJo strains to see. The car windows begin to fog up. 

“No way!” Stalker C sits up. 

“True story,” I say. 

Sunshine Rat snorts a little, “I could NOT believe when he barreled by at the top of the mountain at our last intersection!” 

I say, “Me either!” 

SunFloJo says, “And now he’s here wondering why in the world he can’t shake us!”   

No doubt. 

“Oh no,” Stalker C is looking at her phone. We have slowly realized that we can connect with the outside world again. Stalker C is searching on Facebook, “I think Tank may be engaged.” 

I insist, “I do not hear that.” 

Sunshine says, “Aww.” I detect sarcasm and sleepiness. 

“That won’t last,” I say. “The real wedding is still on. Vermont. Labor Day. Be there.” 

SunFloJo cracks the windows a little to relieve some of our fog. 

The youngest of us begin to fade. 

SunFloJo whispers to me that she is going to unlock the doors, “This way the first one up doesn’t disturb the whole campground with the car security alarm.” This is not her first sleep-in-the-car rodeo. 

I stare at stars in the sky through the sunroof until intermittent conversation, giggles and foggy windows give way to sleep one person at a time. 

SunFloJo is the last to speak. She touches my left arm, “I’m so glad you came with me and that you were able to finish.” 

“Me too,” I whisper. “Thank you for the invite.” 

As the sound of silence outside the vehicle circles the sound of breaths drifting away inside, I notice Flat Kevin’s head poking out of SunFloJo’s bag. I move slowly to avoid disturbing others and pull him out of her bag gently.   

You can watch the stars with me, Kevin. I smile at his pleasant face. I set him on the dashboard and use my shirt sleeve to de-fog a little starry night view just for Kevin. I pray for him and his family. 

Sigh. My body can truly relax now.  

Dear God, I surrender. I make room for Your will and the supernatural. Show me, lead me. Amen 

Steady rain arrives, rocking my brain to sleep. 

JUNE 4, 2016 

5:45AM 

I need to use the restroom. I quietly roll my knee opposite from the passenger door. Can I open the car door and close the door without waking up my friends? 

Friends. The word hits me in my gut after a week of bonding. 

I’m going to miss them. 

My cell phone camera near, I manage to take a quick pic of our final night’s accommodation. 

SunFloJo is curled in a ball facing the driver’s side door. Stalker C is sleeping on her tummy with her feet crossed in the air against the hatch door. Sunshine Rat is buried deep in her sleeping bag. 

Ok. I can do this. I slip out the door and gently shut it back. No one stirs.   

I half walk, half stumble away and around the CRV so I don’t risk making noise near the car.  

Brrr, the morning air is chilly. I see mountain top clouds or fog all around me.   

Deer! There are deer in all four directions. One is right next to the bathroom and doesn’t flinch as I slip by her and into the little building. 

I splash water on my face and refasten my ponytail holder. When I walk back up the small hill from the bathroom, Shut-Up-Guy is walking down the path toward me. Another full circle moment. I wish the other Steam Team members were seeing this. 

I tip toe beyond the CRV, into the tall grass of our would-have-been camp site. I open the bear box lifting the door carefully so that the metal doesn’t squeak.  

Dew is heavy on the grass. I notice my one-person tent is sagging from the weight of the dew. I line up our bags, odds and ends on the picnic table. I take my tent apart, flicking slugs off which soar toward a nearby tree.  

From the picnic table, I collect garbage and take it to a campground waste can near the showers.  I repack my backpack and take a seat to watch the sun rise in its fullness until the gals wake up.  

SunFloJo is next to roll out of the vehicle.  

Soon the girls follow making quick work of reassembling the back seats so we can load the CRV. 

I marvel how quietly we all work together with common goals today and every day this week. 

With the car packed and Campsite 2 empty, we walk up to the lodge. 

It looks different than when we went to the Tap Room last night. The large wood and stone building stands stoic, solid as if to say it endures the test of time beyond those who pass through it.  

Today we sit in the row of upstairs rocking chairs to read Deb’s last question. I look through the large windows to the blue haze of mountains and valleys. I’m going to miss this view.  

Sunshine Rat & SunFloJo sip coffee.  

“Ready?” I ask. 

“Yes,” all nod or speak in agreement. 

I say, “This is from the envelope marked ‘Journey’s End’: 

‘Dorothy & crew were in one moment both exactly who they had always been and also forever changed by their journey.  How is this also true for you? Why or why not?’” 

“Hmm.” The rocking chairs softly move. We ponder the question and stare out the windows silently. 

Technically part of the little slip of paper from Deb had said, ‘for the car ride home’.   

As we ponder, I suspect none of us are quite ready to answer. I know I’m not yet. I offer, “This is a deep question. Maybe we need some time to think about it?” 

Sunshine Rat says, “Yeah, let’s think it over and talk about it on the drive back.” 

We sit. For a while.  

Rocking. Thinking. Rocking.  

Taking all the time we need. 

For the podcast of this chapter, click here.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE 

Human beings ate the bread of angels; he sent them all the food they could eat. Psalm 78:25 

Brieanna James gives Tank a music shaker and Sunshine Rat a tambourine.   

They stand on either side of Brieanna and play their instruments on the beat as she sings her version of I’m Yours by Jason Mraz.   

“…I tried to be chill but you’re so hot I melted….  

“I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some…” 

Our audience sways and sings along. Brieanna smiles at her helpers. 

“We’re just one big family and it’s our godforsaken right to be loved, loved, loved…” 

The room claps as Sunshine and Tank raise the instruments to add a splash of drama to the last line. They bow with a head nod and return to their seats.  

Frodo jumps up to be next. He does not have a partner. I look toward a frozen Stalker C who makes no move to stand up. Brieanna gives Frodo a shaker and he moves it like one of those Shake Weight commercials. He is a puppy that could not glow more with happiness.  

Pizzas and wings arrive. We dig in as Frodo returns to the table. He says, “What talent to only be 16!” Someone reminds him that Brieanna is jailbait.  

As the fun continues, I ask, “Ted, how do you spell your last name?  S-h-e-p…like a shepherd in the Bible or something different?” 

His body language says yes, “Yep like the Bible.”   

SunFloJo points away from our table, “Would you look at that; the sunset is gorgeous. Almost dark soon.” 

We soak in the sunset colors through the windows and wipe sauce with napkins away from fingers and faces.  

Sunshine Rat scans the table and says to the Steam Team, “Oops. I guess we should have put our tents up before we came here.” 

Tank’s face turns serious, “That’s the first rule of the trail. Always put your tent up before dark.” He appears disappointed.   

Oh, there are official rules? Feeling a little slap happy, I want to laugh but hold it in. 

Tank continues, “And we’re supposed to have bad weather tonight. Heavy rain and possible thunderstorms.” 

Frodo listens to hear what we’re going to do. 

SunFloJo waves it off, “We’ll figure it out.” 

Frodo offers, “One night we found a bathroom to sleep in because it was storming so bad outside.” 

Tank, possibly concerned with how that admission might sound, adds, “We put down a mat, so we weren’t all the way touching the bathroom floor or anything.” 

“Oh honey, no judgment here,” SunFloJo says. 

We finish the food and appetizers. Delicious. 

“Hey,” Stalker C says to the young guys. “We have lots of trail food left over if you want it.” 

Tank’s face brightens, “Oh, that would be great!” 

I offer, “It’s already bagged for the trail.” 

Frodo says, “Perfect.” 

Brieanna leans into the microphone and smiles, “Now I want to play a song that I wrote. It is called Whatever Happened.”   

She plays soft cords and shares verses with us. The song talks about sunshine days and moonlit nights.  

She sings, “There’s beauty in every direction, everyone teaches a lesson…” 

I feel thoughtful about the lyrics.  

My adult life has gone by so fast. Our babies are nearly grown. One is leaving.  

My husband–while not ambitious beyond our home, certainly always seeks to spend time with me. Not a social butterfly, a little grumpy at times, but his love is genuine. He still wants to be with me even after all these years. How many people receive the gift of consistency in a relationship?  

I reflect on the day we met in May twenty four years ago. The day we pretended not to look at one another. The day I rolled my eyes at God because I knew with all my being that life ahead involved Paul by my side. Not one day since have I ever questioned if Paul wants to be with me. I feel…blessed.  

Inhale. Exhale. Pause for oxygen. 

I sense he may be missing me and wondering about our progress right now.  

Grabbing my phone off the charger next to the wall, I send Paul a text—I AM SAFE AND SOUND AT OUR LAST STOP. GOING TO SLEEP SOON AND DRVING HOME IN THE MORNING. HOPE YOU GUYS ARE OK. LOTS OF ADVENTURES TO SHARE IF YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEM. I LOVE YOU. 

Paul returns a text immediately—I LOVE YOU TOO! CAN’T WAIT TO GET YOU HOME. AND, YES, I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE ADVENTURES. SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT. BOYS AND I ARE FINE. TTYS! 

Brieanna rounds out the lyrics of her song, “Put the pieces away one last time…there’s beauty in every direction, everyone teaches a lesson, which way will you choose…” 

I smile. 

The common denominator of anything that really matters is family, friends and love. Everything else can be rearranged, sold, donated. Just because I want things a certain way does not mean that is the only way. Life can evolve, and I’ll be just fine. 

The room begins to clear. Campers go to bed with the sun. 

Ted smiles in a belly full kind of way. He reaches for his wallet.   

“Uh, no sir,” says SunFloJo. “We’ve got this.” 

In his jovial manner he says, “Thank you.” 

“Ted, we appreciate you. And thanks for coming up here tonight. It was good to converse when we weren’t falling apart from exhaustion,” I say. 

He smiles, shakes all our hands. Then with a quick so long, he is gone. 

We girls chip in our funds, and SunFloJo finishes the bill business. Tank and Frodo say thank you. 

While Brieanna is packing up with her dad, we exit. The Steam Team plus Tank and Frodo make our way up the wooden stairs and out the lodge front door. Crickets dominate the cool night air.   

We carefully step through the darkness down the hill toward our car. I do not want a sprained ankle. Not even at this stage in the game. Flip flops don’t fail me now. 

Lightning highlights the sky. A low thunder sound is not far away. 

The guys stand as we gather gallon size bag after bag of trail food, some from the back of the CRV and some from the bear box. Frodo’s mouth drops and Tank’s eyes widen as they say, “This is a lot of food!” 

We are giggly but do not want to disturb the campground. I peer around to see how many people are still outside. Some people are still awake, but most seem to be tucked away in their tents and campers.   

On one of the bear box retrieval trips, I happen to notice a familiar person. You have got to be kidding me!  

Shut-Up-Guy is outside of his tent next door to us in campsite 3. He shakes his head perhaps in disbelief too.  

We pile plastic bag after bag into Tank and Frodo’s arms all while they marvel about the types of food inside: jerky, marshmallows, crushed pop tarts, fruit chews, pretzels, peanut butter, and more! 

Tank says, “Wow, this will save like 4 days of grocery cost for us. Thank you so much.” 

Frodo adds, “When this happens it’s called Trail Magic! And that means you four are Trail Angels.” 

Trail Angels. I like the sound of that. 

“Here,” Frodo sets down the bags for a moment. “We have to hug. Thank you so much. This was a great evening.” 

Frodo and Tank take turns hugging each one of us.  

My heart is full by their gratitude and admiration for their journey. How awesome is it that they are thru hikers halfway along on their full route AT adventure? Our trail magic gets to move on without us through them. 

Stalker C says, “Do you mind if we follow your journey on Facebook or Instagram or something?” 

Both guys say absolutely and give us their real names. 

“We hope to be in Vermont by Labor Day,” Tank says. 

“And finish in Maine by end of September or early October,” Frodo adds. 

I say, “We’ll be cheering you on.” 

SunFloJo adds with a chuckle, “Virtually.” Even her wonder woman of a body is tired now. 

We smile and after one more round of hugs, the guys carry their food off into the night. 

The Steam Team leans silently against the CRV bumper. 

All of us look toward the dark campsite thinking how set up at this point would be difficult without light—and probably noisy. 

Stalker C says, “So what are we going to do?” 

To listen to this chapter via the Surrender On The Trail Podcast, click here.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO 

For the Lord your God has blessed you in all that you have done; He has known your wanderings through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have not lacked a thing.  Deuteronomy 2:7 

It is after 5:00PM when we return dirty and depleted.  

We had thought we would be done and back to Big Meadow by 3:00PM at the latest. 

The Steam Team opens the Bear Box at Campsite 2 as if greeting a long-lost friend. We gather quarters and personal care products. 

In tall grass a few feet from the box, my 1-person tent maintained our faux occupancy well while we were gone. I nod in thanks for its service.  

I grab the attention of a stranger in front of the shower house and ask them to take our “after” picture. We force smiles through physical pain while our souls smile with ease knowing that we completed over 33 miles on foot via rocks, trees, mountains, and valleys. My legs may separate from my body at any moment. I doubt the picture will fully capture the layers of grime on our skin. 

Sunshine Rat points out, “We’re running a little behind. Ted is going to be bringing his garbage up soon.” 

Stalker C says, “Yeah it’s almost 6pm.” 

“Ah, man. We don’t have shampoo,” Stalker C notes. 

Sunshine says, “We’ll make the best of it.” 

“Oh no you won’t,” my maternal instincts kick in as I dig through my “after bag”.  

I continue, “We are entertaining tonight. You gals need clean hair. Here is my travel shampoo. I’ll wait and shower after you’re done.” 

Wow, how fast I sound like a mom post trail! 

Stalker C and Sunshine Rat laugh. Stalker says to Sunshine, “You know time is winding down. We gotta find our grooms to bring home.” 

Sunshine says, “That’s right.” 

I gladly sit in a white plastic chair in the laundry room. I am filthy but resting feels glorious. 

A pair of hikers come in to wash a small load of clothes. I think we’ve seen them before on the trail. It is tough to tell because now they are freshly showered. 

The girl goes back in the bathroom to blow dry her hair. I ask him, “Did you two come on the trail together?” 

His face scrunches, “Nah. We just met up and are hiking together.” 

I note the “just” in his sentence.    

She returns with long blonde hair mostly dry. She looks at him with affection. He does not return that vibe. I’m bothered by the notion that he may not be as attracted to her as she is to him. Even her backpack is bigger and appears to be packed heavier than his. What the heck? He puts some of his clothes in her pack. 

I remember now. They are the couple from the bobcat sighting. I recall learning their trail names. She is Murph and he is MudPuppie. 

I ask her, “So why is your name Murph?” 

She smiles, “Because the first few weeks out on the trail anything that could go wrong for me did, like Murphy’s Law. My name was later shortened to Murph.”   

Murph tosses her hair a bit and smiles toward MudPuppie whose eyeroll reaction basically says this is only a summer thing.   

I envision that she’ll be stronger because of the months long hiking. When he breaks her heart at the end in Maine, she’ll be ok and ready to move on. She doesn’t need him. 

A clean Sunshine Rat and Stalker C are almost unrecognizable when they return my shampoo. I may barely feel my numb feet, but I know they carry me to the shower stalls. 

I don’t bother trying to save underwear or the Ziploc bag of urine socks. Anything beyond cleaning easily or likely to smell in the heat of the car on the way home is tossed in the trash. Feels good to get rid of stuff. 

Then I savor the clink of quarters into the machine that turns on the water in the shower.   

Hallelujah.  

I have wilderness soap which is little slips of paper that turn to suds when joined with water. My shampoo lathers like total luxury. Layers of dirt sink to the drain. Still soapy, I add quarters to rinse the rest of the me. 

Oops! I forgot to bring up my sham towel. 

I air dry as best I can before pulling on a clean set of clothes. It’s been a while since I’ve felt cotton on my skin. How wonderful! 

I fluff my hair with a community hair dryer and use a mini pop-up travel brush to comb through my locks.  

The Steam Team meets back at the car and bear box. 

No one attempts or mentions putting up tents for the night. I should look to see if my 1-person tent is still clean and critter-free inside, but I don’t.  

We head to the Tap Room without delay. 

“I wonder how many party goers will show tonight?” Sunshine says as we walk up the hill along a thin blacktop path that leads to the lodge.  

My feet remain flames of fire, but I am clean! My toes are free from boots. The air flow around my flip flops makes my heart leap with joy and appreciation. I wobble and catch myself from falling a few times. 

Stalker C says, “I wonder if Ted will really be here?” 

The anticipation is fun and drowns out the parts of me that hurt; shoulder, neck, back, arms, thighs…so much pain!   

Will our hero, Ted, really come to take out the trash, do laundry, and hang out in the Tap Room with us?!? Will he? Will he? 

We reach the lodge that sits perfectly on top of its mountain. The interior is rustic and comforting.   

A stuffed bear catches our eye, so we pause to take a pic of Stalker C posing with her worst fear.  

We walk into a large lounge with both broad and tall windows. I eye a row of rocking chairs. 

SunFloJo says, “Let’s have morning coffee here with the view tomorrow.” 

We all nod absolutely. “And we’ll read Deb’s last note here,” Sunshine Rat adds. 

“Yes!” we respond. 

Our sore bodies find the way to steep wooden stairs that lead down to the Tap Room. I step down the flight of stairs sideways and hold onto the rail to manage.  

We are greeted by the red checkered tablecloths, a bar in the distance, wood tables and chairs, wood covered walls, and a row of wood French doors with a partial mountain view.   

A band or something is setting up to play here tonight. How Fun! A man and young woman bring in a guitar, speakers, and microphone. 

SunFloJo tells the server, “We need a long table because we don’t know how many people might show up to visit us here tonight.”  

The group giggles as we help place four small tables together to create one long table near where the band will play. 

The sun is low in the sky. Blue hues and warm yellows glow through the windows. 

“Margarita, please. And a water. Thank you,” I request with just enough cash in my wallet to have one appetizer, a drink and maybe something from a fast-food dollar menu on the way home tomorrow.  Plus, of course I have trail food bags that I’ve barely touched all week. 

SunFloJo points to the margarita that arrives in a Mason jar, “That one is on me. This is a celebration of perseverance.” She gives me a look that says no ifs ands or buts about that.   

Ok then. “Thank you.” 

“We did it!” SunFloJo holds up a beer, and we all oblige to toast this great adventure. “So much fun girls!” 

Our glasses clink together. Stalker C says, “And not a minute more.” Her eyes widen like they seemed often to do on the trail, but this time with wide eyed satisfaction. 

Sunshine Rat offers, “Yes. A wonderful experience, and we’re all still alive!” 

SunFloJo’s shoulders laugh. She texts home to say we are safe and sound. 

I was happy to find my phone in SunFloJo’s car before we journeyed to the Tap Room. The girls and I take turns plugging in our phones to charge them in a nearby outlet. 

“I wonder who is going to show?” I ask. 

“The whole forest perhaps,” SunFloJo says. She types into Google, “Now, I’m looking up Steel-Cut. I’m still perplexed by that.” 

I shake my head. It was a well-earned compliment, friend! 

Sunshine Rat notes, “That bothers you a little bit, doesn’t it?” 

She responds, “I’m just trying to understand it.” Then, reading out loud from the internet, “1. Ground or crushed between rolls fitted with cutting teeth, like steel-cut coffee or steel-cut oats.  2. Faceted with a steel tool, used especially of buttons, buckles and beads having allover design of facets.” 

“Oh, the second definition!” Sunshine says, “You are faceted with a steel tool.” 

“With many facets,” Stalker C says. “Basically, you’re a badass.” 

We toast our drinks to that. 

“That is awesome,” I say. Then I touch SunFloJo’s arm and add, “It was a divine moment. There was no need whatsoever for that Teste Team Leader to say anything about you. He picked up on your aura or something. You are Steel-Cut. And you led us beautifully with your badass self.” 

We laugh. I add, “And we appreciate you. Thank you for including us on this journey.” 

Recognizable faces begin to fill the room. I notice Sushi and a trail friend or two at the bar. I’m too tired to go invite them to the table. That would require standing up.   

Whoever comes to the table is welcome. We’re not walking even another twenty-five feet unless we absolutely must! 

Through the patio doors I see MudPuppie and Murphy outside. I think she wants to come inside, but he doesn’t. She is pointing to the fact that they could leave their gear outside, but he shakes his head no.  

Leave him, Murph. Leave him right now. But no, she slumps her shoulders a bit and puts her pack back on. He’s already walking away. I am disappointed that she follows him. 

“Ooh, we left some clothes in the dryer.” SunFloJo remembers. 

“I’ll go with you,” Sunshine joins her. 

Stalker C and I exchange looks and smiles as the Tap Room capacity increases. We don’t waste energy on speaking. And this margarita is gooood.   

Oops, all gone.   

I will work on my water and the remaining ice to increase hydration.   

As we observe, we learn that the guy with the band is the father of the young woman. And the young woman with long dark hair is only 16 years old. Her name is Brieanna James. She’s going to sing tonight.  We grab one of her publicity postcards and search for her on Facebook and Twitter.   

“Ted!” says Stalker C. 

“Look who we found!” SunFloJo calls out. 

Rounding the stage area is Ted with SunFloJo & Sunshine.  I point to the seat in front of me on the table end closest to the stage. “Right here. We saved this seat for you!” 

I can’t let Ted go to the other end where the younger Steam Team members are. Seating might mess up the opportunity of potential suitors for the young ones! 

“Well, ok.” Ted sits down. 

I hear a snicker and snort from the other end as SunFloJo slips in next to me. Oh, no. He probably thinks I purposefully want him close to me! I yi yi. 

With the help of my margarita I say, “We gotta keep the single ladies with open seats down there. We invited a lot of people to the Tap Room tonight.” 

More stifled giggles. Ted smiles with a quick raise of both hands and says, “I completely understand.” 

I smile. I knew he would. 

SunFloJo says, “We’re so glad you came tonight!” 

Next to him, Sunshine Rat says, “And we smell and look a little better tonight I bet.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He smiles and looks at each of us. He’s a jolly sort. 

SunFloJo asks, “Now tell us all about your connection to Rapidan and this place. Did you say to us you’ve been working here like over a decade or something?” 

“Oh yes,” he says. “I love being here. My normal job is in California. I work from here part of each year.”   

“What brings you this far over and over again?”   

“I’m originally from the east coast and my family came to the Shenandoah National Park every summer growing up. My dad was kind of like my mom and dad all in one because my mom died when I was little.” 

Lots of social worker types at the table, in unison a few of us say, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Eh. It was a long time ago.” Ted continues, “One of our happiest memories and my only memory of mom was when we were here one summer. I was about five. Later that year she died. Dad and I spread her ashes over BearFence Scramble the next summer. We went back every summer since in one way or another.” 

BearFence. Aww.  

We’re in listening mode. He continues, “And a few years ago Dad died. Me and my family spread his ashes up there too.” He sighs, “A couple weeks ago I went up there on a day off and was kind of surprised to find little pieces of bone still up there from dad.” 

Still enjoying the view, I suppose.   

Ok. Now I’m glad for new reasons that we didn’t go up there. Maybe I’d go up on a different trip with less backpack and more as a side trip stop. 

Sunshine Rat changes the subject, “You know, Ted, you are the only person around here who gives accurate trail mileage information.”   

We agree. She continues, “The trail said our trip today would be about 6 miles and you said 9. It was totally 9 plus a little more.” 

Stalker C and I say, “Yeah. The trail lies.” 

Sunshine adds, “We appreciate you not lying Ted.” 

SunFloJo says, “Let’s get you a drink. We’ve ordered some food and we can order more if you want. It’s on us.” She adds with a wink, “We owe you gratitude for that which shall remain a secret!”   

Stalker C says, “You saved our life.” 

I point out, “It took a long time today before we got to the fire ring up on Laurel Prong.” I shake my head, “There is no way we would have found that small clearing in the woods, in the dark, in the rain. Just no way.” 

Ted shrugs and tightens his lips in a way that tells me he totally knows he saved our lives and probably saved some fire and rescue resources too. Ultimately, he saved lives and tax dollars! Funeral expenses, you name it. Some rules are meant to be broken. 

“Well, don’t ever put anything on social media,” Ted says. 

“Absolutely. We get it!” SunFlo says. “We stayed in that Fisherman’s Camp just outside the park. That was scandalous enough. That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.” 

Ted smiles relieved. 

“Mums the word,” Sunshine says. 

My eyes see people coming our way. Look who it is!   

Rounding the stage area are Tank and Frodo! I am delighted that my favorite groom candidates arrived for the girls. 

SunFloJo smiles and waves them over. 

Ted grins at how our obvious plan works when Tank and Frodo approach our table with the only available chairs right next to our dear Sunshine Rat and Stalker C. Ted understands. Ted is seasoned like SunFloJo and me.   

The young males have showered also. They have big smiles on their faces. Perhaps they are happy that we are where we said we would be. And the idea of Tap Room food probably is exciting. 

Small talk begins at the younger end of the table. I zone out to simply take in this moment.   

Ted talks with SunFloJo about his interest in gemstones and about his plans to begin foster dog transport soon. Ted is an all-around good guy. 

The young musician tests her guitar on stage. She smiles and strums to see if the instrument is in tune. The dad beams with pride. He also eyes the audience with a protective stare. Then he looks at his daughter with total admiration and love. 

A sound crackle occurs, then becomes clear. 

“Thanks for being here tonight, y’all,” Brieanna speaks into the microphone. “This is a good crowd.”   

Hmm, thanks to us. 

Brieanna smiles. I come out of my trance. The checkered tablecloth covered tables are full of folks and the bar has only one seat open.  It’s hard to tell because so many of us now look clean, but I am fairly certain at least a quarter of the room are people we met and invited along the way. 

The crowd gasps in a good way when Brieanna begins to sing Jolene.  

People approve of her voice. Smiles are contagious around the room.   

I notice that if Frodo had a tail, it would wag. He is very impressed by her. 

Brieanna slows down the lyrics to end with, “Please don’t take him even though you can….” 

Hands clap and whistles woot in the air. 

“Thank you,” Brieanna says.  “Thank you.” 

The audience is ready for more. She says, “Now I need some volunteers.”   

Hands raise fast at our table. That is, SunFloJo and my hands go up and point toward our young friends. 

“Well, alright then. This group right here is ready to have some fun,” Brieanna says and waves Tank and Sunshine up to the stage.   

To listen to this chapter via the Surrender On The Trail Podcast, click here.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.   Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11: 28-29 

The AT leads us to a cliff and then takes a sharp turn to the right. More trees. More rocks. More dirt. 

Ugh. I thought we were getting close to the end of this ordeal. 

Our sweat has knit an extra layer around our bodies. 

SunFloJo reads my silent disappointment. I pick up on her equally silent encouragement vibe. 

Keep going. We can do this.  

At the turn, she slows down to talk with a bearded guy coming from the opposite direction. “What’s your trail name?” 

“Sushi!” he says with pride. He has energy and spring in his step. May I have some of that please? 

Passing us, he looks back and projects his voice, “Oh hey, there’s a party in the Tap Room tonight at Big Meadow if you’re interested!” 

Apparently, the invite has gone full circle. 

“Ok thanks!” SunFloJo says and smiles. 

Then to me she chuckles, “Well, this means the girls are alive up ahead.” 

I laugh in my body somewhere, but I’m not sure if it shows because I am so tired. In my mind, I think how fantastic it is that the girls are still sharing the invitation and now other people are inviting…us!  

Trail Mail. Word of mouth. Love it. 

SunFloJo is a couple steps ahead of me probably wondering if I’m going to have a heart attack or not. I cannot talk or respond no matter what she asks. That’s probably not a good sign.   

I feel my fat work against me. My muscles say, we did not prepare properly for this! I barely feel my legs—probably because my brain can’t listen to the pain anymore.  

We stumble down a slight decline. The path is narrow. SunFloJo marvels at nature, “Aren’t the trees just beautiful?”  

She really is a mountain woman. 

I am not capable of participating in conversation with my dear SunFloJo/SteelCut/why-did-I-say-yes-to-this-friend. 

But wait. 

Are those cars on a road that hear?!  

Eh, maybe. Could be my mind playing tricks. The forest spins a bit.   

I feel dizzy.  

Stop it! You’ve got to pull through this. The Tap Room is metaphorically in sight.   

I stop to drink the last of my water. I suck the bottle dry, caving in the plastic. 

Ok, let’s finish this. 

I follow SunFloJo’s easy going pace with my huffing it pace. We hike along a ridge seeing a mountain above us and mountain below us. We trek downhill and straight ahead on a dirt path corridor. 

Soon I see an opening in the trail. We walk toward it. 

And there are the girls!  

They sit on a gravel access road that crosses the trail.  

I look to the left. There is a small trail leading across the path into the woods. To the right, the access road leads to…(yes!)…a real road which I assume is Skyline Drive.   

Across from our position, the AT continues. 

The girls look slightly refreshed. They’ve gotten to sit without their backpacks on the ground for a while waiting on us–aka waiting on me. 

“I can’t wait to shower,” Stalker C says.  Her “shower” sounds like a really long word: “sha-ow-wherrrr”. 

Sunshine Rat responds with, “1.25 for 5.25. Oh yeah.” She recites the dollar and minutes sign we saw at Big Meadow shower stalls.   

I lay down on the gravel with my head on my pack.   

We stare into the trees. No one speaks for a few minutes. 

Finally, I can function jaw muscles again. My first words are, “We’ve got to take an after picture of us before we shower.” 

Everyone agrees. This accomplishment will need documentation. We are disgusting and picture ready. 

SunFloJo springs an idea, “Hey girls. If I give you the car key, you could leave your packs here and walk to get the car at Lewis Mountain just up the road. Then drive back to get us.” 

This keeps the Steam Team from trying to figure out Dick’s short cut through the next part of the trail with our packs on.   

Stalker C and Sunshine Rat are all over that plan. Their young legs are free from burdens and ready to walk with purpose. They stand up and turn toward the road. 

Laying there, I feel tearful. Dehydrated ducts can still feel the feels. 

It’s over. We did what we set out to do. SunFloJo gathers energy to move backpacks further toward the road so the girls won’t miss us when they return. 

A thin guy and girl emerge from the AT. They say, “Have you seen the shelter?” 

I shake my head no. 

“There’s supposed to be one around here. We’re ready to call it a day and sleep there we hope.” 

My toes point toward the foot path that crosses the AT. I look beyond my toes and see a small sign carved in wood. I ask and point, “Is it in there?” 

They walk toward it and read. He shouts back, “This is it. Thank you!” 

Cool, glad I could help. Then I think about them sleeping in one of the little wood lean-tos that are mentioned in the first chapter of the book A Walk In The Woods.   

I hope they have buffs, so they don’t risk breathing the rat doo-doo underneath.  

Oh, first thing I am thankful for post hike: not sleeping exposed in one of the little wood shelters any of our nights this week. 

From my supine position, I hear the Toyota CRV pull onto the gravel behind me. Wow, those girls made great time. 

We load packs in the back and grab our beloved red bag from Deb.  

SunFloJo blasts the air conditioner. We climb in and pass around remaining Deb snacks, shoving peanut butter filled pretzels and melted together iced animal cookies into our mouths like we haven’t eaten in days. Crumbs fly! 

Someone says through mouthfuls, “I wonder if Ted will really come to Big Meadow tonight?” 

Prefer to listen? Join us on the Surrender on The Trail Podcast.

CHAPTER TWENTY

CHAPTER TWENTY 

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path

of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. ~ Proverbs 4:25-26

We’ve got this.   

I feel stronger after a little rest and protein. We trek south. 

As we walk, SunFloJo asks me, “Why do you think that one guy thinks I’m SteelCut?” 

“I think he was saying that he can tell that you’re tough.” I answer, then add, “Which is true.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” I see she doesn’t believe me. “Well, we can look up definitions in the online dictionary when we get back to Big Meadow.” 

“Hm. I suppose.” 

“I think it’s a compliment. SteelCut fits. Could be your new trail name.” 

“Thanks, Surrender.”    

Our path is about two feet wide with gradual downhill then uphill slopes. Eventually the drop over the mountain to our left becomes the drop over the mountain to our right. 

Foot traffic meetings increase. 

We need a break just as a tall shirtless young man approaches. 

“What’s your trail name?” We ask. 

He smiles through a developing beard, “Doc.” 

“And how come that name?” SunFloJo inquires. 

“Because I’m working on my doctorate and decided to take the summer off to clear my head and walk the AT,” He responds. “My friends thought that was a good fit, and I liked it.” 

Nice.  

Stalker C occasionally dings her bear bell as we hike. Sometimes the quick path elevation change causes the bell to ring on its own also. 

We walk and see another shirtless man, not as tall, sitting on a tree stump. His hair is dark and loosely curled around his head. His skin is a smooth, a deep olive tone. He peels socks from his feet. 

“Hi there,” says SunFloJo. I can tell she is in an interview mode. 

This guy is reluctant to speak at all until SunFloJo says, “Oh, I see you’re doing a sock change. Smart.” 

Yep, that got him. He says, “Yes. Changing socks is one of the best things you can do out here.” 

Sunshine Rat says, “Do you have any more tips?” 

SunFloJo follows with, “I would love to know how you pack your food.” 

“Ok,” He obliges and opens his backpack. “This is my protein. He points to various jerky meats. This is my mini stove. I cook pasta in there from a ready-made bag in the evening.” 

“Uh huh. Mm,” SunFloJo listens as if she doesn’t have the same exact things in her bag. 

“What’s your trail name?” Stalker C asks. 

“Hawaii.” 

Great name. I estimate he is a thru-hiker. I ask, “What mile are you on?” 

“940.”   

SunFloJo asks, “Do we look like thru-hikers?” 

“No,” Hawaii responds quickly. 

SunFloJo laughs. “How can you tell? No one ever asks us our trail names.” 

Hawaii looks us up and down, “Well, your packs are too heavy for one thing.” 

Hey, I have met thru hikers who had as big or bigger packs than us.    

A fly or gnat flies in my mouth. I spit it out to the side of the trail without leaning my body or gagging. Wow, I have become one with the wild. 

I stop listening to Hawaii’s tips for the most part. I hear him say something about packing toothpaste in a tiny baggie instead of a small tube. He stops in a town about every 4^th or 5^th day for a rest.  He gathers and stuffs items back into his bag and stands up. He’s ready to head north, the opposite direction we are going. 

As he takes off in stride, he turns to shout back at us, mainly to Stalker C, “And you don’t need that bear bell!” 

SunFloJo, Sunshine Rat and I laugh. Stalker C reaches back to the bell and says to our group, “Oh, yes, I do.” 

We walk on. This part of the forest makes me think of the first Disney movie I saw in the theater as a child: Snow White. I visualize the Seven Dwarfs marching along this area. 

The trail takes a steep but short dip near a cliff’s edge. We still giggle over our interaction with Hawaii when we see a guy and girl sitting on a log. SunFloJo says, “Sorry if we were a little loud on the approach.” 

“Oh, don’t worry,” the guy says. “We just saw a bobcat so a little noise is probably a good thing.”   

The girl nods. 

I suppose that means bobcats can be aggressive. 

“Hey, we’re all meeting up at the Tap Room tonight at Big Meadow if you want to join us,” SunFloJo says. I notice the couple smiles.  

Sometimes it’s just nice to be invited. 

The girl says, “We’ll keep that in mind. I think the Tap Room is close to where we heard you can get blackberry shakes in Big Meadow. Hikers say they are delicious.” 

Wow. Something cold sounds amazing right now. I’ve never had a blackberry shake. 

Rounding another part of the trail we see a woman. She’s solo. Her sandy blonde hair is in two braids. She wears a purplish blue skort. 

“Are you a thru hiker?” 

“Yes, I am,” She proudly stops to chat. “I probably look a little clean because last night I got a shower.” 

“Yay, you’re doing it,” Sunshine is impressed. “What is your trail name?” 

“Patches.” 

She shares that she is at mile 1200 and pressing onward. She is doing the trail north to south. She began in Maine and is headed to Georgia. 

We are getting close to Bearfence Rock Scramble. I remember the description on the map:  

1.2 mile circuit hike to a spectacular 360° view. Short but challenging hike with a rock scramble —do not attempt when rocks are wet. Pets are not allowed on this trail. Only attempt if you have  good balance. 

I do not have good balance at this point of the trip. Anything could knock me over. Or knock me to my death if I attempt Bearfence Rock Scramble. 

We slope down a hill, then back up again. We manage a dip, another incline, then a decline and so forth. This is a roller coaster of a trail. 

Turns out we weren’t so close to Bearfence afterall.  

We are tired.  Sitting on rocks or logs here and there becomes more frequent. 

“Hi,” A young tall, bearded guy and an average height dark curly haired guy approach. 

They need to catch their breath, and so do we. Their panting looks more graceful than ours, like they’ve been hiking fast for several miles. Rest is a mere formality for them. 

My marriage potential radar lights up on behalf of my Steam Team friends. 

“I’m Tank,” says the tall one. 

“And I’m Frodo,” says the other. Oh, look! He has a ring around his neck like Lord of the Rings. He even looks like Elijah Woods with his big blue eyes.   

Frodo affirms the story of his name, “A girl early on the trail said I look like Frodo. Then some Cracker Jack box had this ring inside of it. I was like ‘perfect’. So, I found this cord to tie it around my neck.” 

Sunshine eyes Tank, but fatigue brings her down—literally. She and Stalker C sit on rocks near our conversation but are not completely in the conversation. 

Not to worry. SunFloJo and I have matchmaking responsibilities covered. 

I ask, “And how did you get the name Tank?” 

He proudly says, “Cause at the beginning of the trail people were amazed by how quickly I climbed up hills like a tank.”   

SunFloJo asks, “So you started in Georgia?” 

They nod and say, “Yes.” 

“When are you hoping to finish?” 

“By October. We were making good time, but I had to go home for a few weeks because of a leg injury,” Tank says. 

“And I went with him,” Frodo says. 

I ask, “So were you friends before the trail?” 

Frodo smiles, “No. That’s the funny thing. You meet up with people at the beginning of the AT season and you just never know who you will click with. We clicked, and we didn’t want to lose the teamwork that was kind of natural to us. We are in this to the end.” 

“That is awesome,” I say. I glance at exhausted Stalker C and Sunshine Rat. This really should be you two chatting over here. 

SunFloJo extends our invite, “We are going to be at The Tap Room tonight at Big Meadow Campground if you want to come join us. They have some yummy appetizers and drinks.” 

Frodo’s face lights up a bit. He’s the more social one, I think. He says, “That’s where we plan to camp tonight.” He smiles, “Maybe we’ll see you there.” 

Tank nods. 

“Great,” I say. 

Tank and Frodo exchange see-you-laters with us and head north. 

We hike toward Lewis Mountain where our car is, but everyone else seems to be walking in the direction of Big Meadow. 

We continue south for a while and then take a break to sit on logs facing one another. I say, “Girls, you kinda held back back there.” 

Sunshine Rat smirks. Her knowing look, green buff that surrounds her head, and matching backpack make my heart smile. We are all dirt covered and sweat glistened. 

Stalker C forms her cheeks a bit like Shirley Temple when she says, “Oh you two had us covered. You didn’t need us back there. We could rest up while you two did the talking.” 

SunFloJo turns to me, “’Cause I’m the grandma and you’re the mom type.” 

I smile, “That’s right.” 

We stand up. Our muscles may snap. Soreness runs deep. 

Soon we make it to the BearFace Scramble extra trail entrance.  

And by soon, I mean it took forever. We wondered several times if we were still on the correct course. 

I quietly hope no one wants to do the 360-degree view with tricky footing. There is no way I can safely crawl around the most dangerous of rocks in this area especially with a backpack. 

A young college man emerges from a side trail, “Hi, he says.”  

I curse the size of his itty-bitty water supply on his back. That’s it. Nothing else. And he looks so…clean. 

Sunshine Rat asks because of his t-shirt, “Are you from JMU?” 

“Yeah.” 

We saw James Madison University on our drive.   

He continues, “My mom is down here doing a section hike. I’m going to do BearFace and then go meet her later.” 

SunFlo offers, “Well if you want to take her to the Tap Room at Big Meadow tonight, that’s where the party will be. We’re going to be there and we’re inviting everyone we meet to join us.” 

I sense a snicker from the Stalker C who is sitting on a rock.  

SunFloJo, er or SteelCut if she accepts that new name, learns more about him. It is fun to see her social skills in action.  

This candidate is studying economics. He’s not 100% sure which career field he wants, but he has time to figure that out since he is a sophomore. 

In response to the invite he says, “Sounds fun.  I’ll keep that in mind.” He flashes a perfect smile and heads up the rocks that form a staircase leading to BearFace. 

I turn to the girls, “Does anyone want to do BearFace?” 

Stalker C says, “Definitely not.” 

Whew! 

We later learn that people do BearFace without big packs. Sounds like a good day trip only to me. I suppose we could have left our packs on the AT and walked up, but the extra path is over a mile. No one has extra miles left in their legs. 

The hike continues. 

Stalker C pauses to pee while we turn our heads.  Funny, she does not even take the backpack off this time.   

We’re girls just doing what we must do. That takes talent and skill, Stalker C! 

No one seems disappointed about not doing BearFace. I am so glad. I don’t want to be the reason anyone misses anything.   

We trek onward. Rocks become plentiful as we climb higher on the trail. There are big rocks, sometimes wobbly under foot. My poles are part of my body at this point.  

We, the poles and I, do the best we can.  

Man, I’m tired. I sense total body shut down threatening my ability to finish. 

The younger girls sense the end is near and surge ahead of us. It is weird to not hear, see, or catch up to them anymore.   

SunFloJo could totally keep up with the girls. But when she notices that I lag, she walks back to me and talks me through.  

I can no longer speak or respond.   

Pole step, one foot, pole, the other foot, repeat. That’s where I am, all my focus is on poles and feet.   

Sweat is an extra layer of clothes, heavy. Flies drive me nuts. 

I see sunlight through the trees. Is there hope? The path appears to end.  

Is that the end? Could it be?! 

Nope. 

Would you rather listen to the story? Check out this chapter at the Surrender On The Trail PODCAST.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out. Exodus 40:36

SunFloJo says, “I’ve got an idea!”

She announces as we eat, “Let’s start offering to meet folks at the Tap Room tonight. If they’re already going that direction, then we’ll mention it. Since Ted is meeting us anyway, let’s make a party of it.”

Absolutely. Of course. Let’s dream up a party right here in the woods. Anything is possible.

After hours of seeing no one today, we are surprised to see someone approach the trail intersection right on queue after the idea is born. 

A man walks to us from the south. He is on the path we will eventually walk on the AT.

“Hi,” he says.

I wonder, What is he eating?

The man pulls plants from the side of the trail and munches on them.

Upon closer look, he is not mountain man romance material for the younger gals.

Sunshine Rat asks him, “So what is that direction like?”

“Not too bad. Up and down some, but I’ve seen worse.”

Yeah. If he’s talking about steep inclines and declines, we’ve certainly seen worse too.

He heads north.

Then we see who I assume is a man and wife couple in their sixties perhaps. “Oh,” I say to the woman.  “I love your shirt!”

Her navy t-shirt has a simple AT blaze splash on the front as if someone took a paint brush stroke from a tree and painted her shirt instead. She appears to be very clean. The shirt is crisp, like brand new.

I hope these clean people don’t smell us.

My shirt and pants cling to my body. When sweat drips from my hairline, I am careful to wipe it away from my eyes.

“Thank you,” she says. “I think I got this in a gift shop at Harper’s Ferry.”

SunFloJo chews pepperoni and the last of her cheese. She asks, “Are you hiking the whole AT?”

I smell the man’s aftershave, so I guess the answer is no, but he does surprise us with a sweet story.

“We have friends in Florida who are here finishing the last of their almost 2200 AT miles. We came to walk with them for a little while.”

“Yes,” the clean woman shrills. “They are twin 80-year-olds. They’ve been walking about 200 miles each summer for 10 years. This year they will finish!”

80-years-old? Twins? –I’ve got to get in better shape.

And what-do-ya-know, here they come along the trail! Two matching ladies walk up to us from the south. They each have short white hair, trekking poles, and the biggest smiles.

The man says, “They can’t hear too well.”

SunFloJo is all over this. This moment may mirror her in 20 years. “Hi!  We hear you’re finishing up the AT?”

The twins nod.

One of them hears better than the other one and tells us a little about their journey. “We started the trail in the most difficult spots like up in Maine when we were early 70’s.”

“We just like walking. Thought this would be a good retirement activity.”

They share, “Our combined trail name is Happy Trails.”

Inspiration surges through each of our hearts. What an incredible story. The fact that these sisters have walked almost 2200 miles sinks into my mind. Wow.

And how wonderful it is that their friends came to meet them in the forest to witness and celebrate the last steps? Beautiful.

After the foursome walks on to the north, SunFloJo says, “Did you see their beautiful legs? So shapely for 80!”

We continue to eat. A redhead young man and a dark-haired young girl approach, “Hello!”

Greetings are exchanged.

“What are your trail names?” SunFloJo asks.

When they speak, we recognize their British accents, “I’m Samsquatch,” He says. “And she is The Boss.”

We snicker, “Why is she The Boss?”

He answers, “Because we were dating and trying to decide what to do in our gap year before university. We’re from the U.K. and gap years are a thing where we are from. She heard about the AT and drug me over here to hike.”

“I thought it would be cool to say we did this,” The Boss adds.

The parent in me asks, “How does your family feel about it?”

The Boss answers, “My mum worries because I can only check in every few days when we find an outlet to charge our phones.”

I bet. But really, what a great way to spend 6 months of your gap year!

“I try to tell mum that we’ve met people on the trail and that everyone checks up on everyone else. There are logs along the way to sign and people look for your name.”

Samsquatch adds, “Yeah, sometimes you hang with a group for a while. When you need a rest day a bunch of us go in together to share a hotel room, or a shelter, or a shower.”

Another dark-haired young gal walks up from the south. Clearly, they know each other.

“What’s your trail name?” I ask her.

“Olive Oil.”

She is adorably thin and tall. Olive Oil smiles.

SunFloJo asks, “Are you alone or do you have a partner?”

With confidence she replies, “I’m kind of alone overall, but you’re never really alone out here. I hang off and on with a group of people.”

“Like us,” laughs Samsquatch and The Boss. “And sometimes we get perks because we’re British.” There’s a chuckle between the three of them due to some inside joke along the way. “Like hotel rates or restaurant rates.”

“Americans have been good to us.”

Well, put that on a billboard. I’m glad to hear that.

The Boss continues, “We’ve got to make our money last. We’ve made it to the midway point of our hike so far.”

We exchange pleasantries, “Nice to meet you!  Hope you have a great second half of the trip.”

Then we see one, two, three,…NINE men approach our lunch location. This intersection is proving to be a high foot traffic area. 

These men book it to our spot like a locomotive machine. Their legs move in unison and they vary in ages and athletic ability. Some sweat profusely. I imagine because they are trying to keep up.

I look them over and say, “I see some genetic similarities among you.”

They nod with testosterone pride. “We’re the dads,” three of them say. They point down the row of others, “These are our sons, he’s a cousin, and he is a son-in-law.”

Wow.

“You guys were really trucking it,” I say.

“Yes, we are heading to Big Meadow.”

“Oh, yes, us too, but via Lewis Mountain first. That’s where we left our vehicle,” I say.

Noticing some of the younger ages, SunFloJo says, “Hey, we’re inviting people to the Tap Room tonight at Big Meadow. If you want to join us, then you’re invited.”

The most senior dad says, “We will keep that in mind.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Stalker C’s eyes widen. She looks at me and looks at Sunshine Rat, then tilts her head south toward the trail. 

Now I see what she means.

Well, well, well.

Look who it is!

Shut-Up-Guy is heading our way. 

The jaws on three of our faces drop while SunFloJo continues chatting it up with the nine man train.

Sunshine Rat, Stalker C and my eyes follow Shut-Up-Guy as he passes behind our visitors and continues at a fast speed. His eyes meet our eyes only briefly at one point.

SunFloJo is still talking, “And do you gentlemen have trail names?”

Main Leader Dad says, “No.”

He shakes his head as if none of his crew deserve the gift of a trail name. It’s starting to make sense to me why so many of his crew are an out of breath, sweaty mess. They’ve been trying to keep up with Main Leader Dad. Ah hah. That’s your trail name in my book. 

Main Leader Dad takes a pepperoni stick from Sunshine Rat’s hand without asking.

Perhaps dude needs a manners life skill workshop from the non-profit back home? 

Stalker C, Sunshine Rat and SunFloJo eye his behavior as he lightly fingers the length of the pepperoni.

My ballpark interpretation is that he thinks this is good packaging for meat, easy to transport. Has he not ever seen pepperoni sticks?

He nods approval and hands the stick back to Sunshine.

Then Main Leader Dad looks at SunFloJo. She is wearing her moisture wicking khaki shorts and fuchsia shirt with a black bandana around her head. 

Time stops. I hear a metaphor of angels in heaven open with an ascension chorus “ah ah ahhh”. 

The sunlight shifts through the trees and casts a spotlight onto SunFloJo. The man lifts his arm and points to our friend, our leader, our SunFloJo.

He says with all authority as if he is knighting her or blessing her through the air, “You are SteelCut.”

The Steam Team freezes over this announcement.

The men who we later affectionately call The Nine Testes have spoken. 

And just like that, they walk off quickly in unison.

SteelCut?!

I think that name does fit as an alternative for SunFloJo.

Stalker C says to SunFloJo, “Did you see who sped by while you were knighted with a possible new name?” 

“Who?”

“Shut-Up-Guy from our first night.”

Sunshine Rat chimes in, “What are the odds we would see him again?”

Seeing Shut-Up-Guy makes us all laugh. We replay a key event from night one.

I say, “I promise” and Stalker C says a low, “Shuuuut Uuuup!”

While we laugh, two guys approach coming from the south.  They introduce themselves as a father-son team. “We’re staying at the resort.”

There’s a resort nearby? I had no idea.

“Cool Shirts,” I say referencing their neon gym workout t-shirts.

The son shares, “We work out at the same Cross Fit together.” He pauses then adds, “To get ready for hiking we added cardio.”

Something about the way he said “added cardio” makes the Steam Team stifle giggles. 

Our rest and refuel window of time is closing.

I say, “Hope you have a great hike. We’re about to take off in the direction you came from.”

We zip up.

It is time to chase this journey’s end.

Can you imagine meeting people like this out in the woods? These ladies are so cool! There are several articles and news clips about them on the internet.

Stay tuned for the next chapter.

If you prefer to listen, my podcast is called Surrender On The Trail.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

We exchange a good laugh about the Fisherman’s camp and continue walking. 

I send a telepathic check-in to home base: I’m ok, Hon. You know I am a survivor no matter what. Hope you can feel my soul speaking to you.

I imagine Paul is happy to wake up this morning having had no knocks on the front door from police delivering bad news. Knowing the Steam Team’s darkest night is over may provide relief both to us on the trail and to those who care about us. I find it funny that our darkest night involved sleeping with a light on the whole time.

The terrain changes from the abundance of browns to tall, wispy lime green grass and blue sky on the horizon as we climb higher and higher. I think the bright blue is a good sign at first.

Looks like the top of the mountain is just ahead. We’re almost there. 

I remember on the trail plan that at the end of Laurel Prong Trail we will turn left back onto the AT. 

The top, the top of the mountain. I can see it! –or so I think.

The girls await my caboose at a trail marker post.

When they see me approach, they turn right.

Why not left!?

Sunshine points out that the trail post says Laurel Prong continues this way. To the right. There’s more Laurel Prong to hike. We are not to our official turn yet.

“Sneaky trail,” says Stalker C.

Yeah, it is!

To the right we go. SunFloJo lifts the mood, “Isn’t this beautiful?!”

From the back of the line, I quietly huff, “Breathtaking.” –which had a funny double meaning if anyone had heard it.

I look right and down over the mountain side trail we just climbed. That is an impressive view of how far we’ve come today. 

To my left is the mountain ridge and a majestic crisp sky. Between me and the ridge is soft flowing grass. I mentally immerse into the beauty. We are on top of the world.

I pause to look across the sky at many mountains in the distance and contemplate how this mountain is among its friends. This is an overlook without a drive or pull off parking spot. There is no road. We’ve earned this glorious view by climbing.

While one foot follows the next, I enter a prayerful time of reflection while thinking a lot about my relationship with God. 

I sense my Higher Power say:

What if you spent more time with Me? What if you stop trying to make things fit and simply give it all to Me? Give me your marriage. Give me your work, your children, your journey. You don’t have to figure it out. All you need to do is do the next step and then the next step after that. The supernatural comes from Me. Allow and invite me into your whole life, not just your heart.

I ask: But why haven’t you moved in our finances? Why are things not better in Paul’s work and body? What do we need to do to improve our situation?

Have you asked Me in faith to handle those challenges?

Verses come to mind as if I can hear the Word more clearly from this elevation.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6

And then my mind hears:

What I’m saying is make room. You chose the name Surrender for a reason. Make room and allow Me to direct your path.

I ponder the many ways I have not asked for God’s help in recent years. I think about what it would mean to make room for supernatural blessings. I think about my friends who say, “trust the process.”

My mind hushes. I seek time with God. My mind churns to a pleasant blank nothingness while feeling fully embraced by love.

~

We march on with heat friction between our backs and backpacks. Sweat drips down faces, necks, and arms.

The trail changes to extra narrow. We enter a path about five inches wide of dirt between billowing grass. I am unnerved by the grass brushing my calves.

Please don’t let anything climb up my leg or inside my pants leg! I make noise and swish the ground with my trekking poles.

I am torn whether to look left to the poetic mountain tops or to keep my eyes on every spec of dirt in my path.  

Look! A bright orange salamander type creature ahead of my feet. That is cool.

I am careful not to squish him. I step over it and then nearly step on a fuzzy orange-yellow furry caterpillar type guy. There are some brightly colored things up here that don’t seem to have camouflage options.

I take in a deep breath and exhale. The air grows thin. I repeat the deep breathing.

Keep walking, Surrender. Keep breathing too. 

Then trail changes again. We begin a rocky edge along the tip top of the mountain. We step up and over many rocks to make our way, big and small rocks. 

I encourage my ankles to remain strong. The slightest slip could cause me to slide left off the cliff and down the side of the mountain. The trail is narrow with nothing but empty space to my left and a wall of rock just taller than me to my right. 

The narrow footing is a challenge. If we run into anyone going the opposite direction, then we will have to cling to complete strangers to figure out how to pass one another.

The Steam Team walks close together now. Everyone wants to make sure we get through this ridge. No one talks. Concentration is high.

I think about how snakes might like to sun themselves on the rocks to my right and how much I hope they don’t choose to do that here today. I hope we make enough noise to keep such creatures away.

A large rock blocks our path. As she scales it, SunFloJo slips. My heart skips. The girls gasp.

SunFloJo falls wisely toward the rock wall side and hangs on to jagged stones until she regains footing.

Sunshine Rat asks, “Are you ok?”

“Yep. I’m good.”

“Good save,” I say. 

We are a tired, dirty crew. Flies buzz around my greasy head. I notice Stalker C bats flies from her forehead too. I am kind of surprised flies hang out at this altitude.

We pause to put our sleeping buffs around our heads. That keeps flies at bay somewhat but not completely.

I step with my trekking pole and the pole sinks. I slide down with the pole face first into rocks. My belly saves me by catching on the rock I was trying to climb over.

“Surrender!” Sunshine Rat sees me go down.

I glance at the cliff to my left. “I’m ok,” I say but don’t believe. 

Surely, we are near the AT intersection. Surely.

“Wanna rest a minute?” SunFloJo asks me once I crawl over the rock.

I nod. The girls hike ahead. 

The two most senior of the group need a break. Tiredness is becoming a liability.

SunFloJo and I sit on a 3-foot log that somehow is stuck on this short-width trail. I try not to think about the rocks or critter holes behind or under me. My feet touch the edge of the mountain. Hopefully whatever lurks nearby stays at bay. 

From our seated position we face the deep valley and mountains as far as we can see. Falling to our death is easily possible. I cannot see how far down the mountain is below my feet. 

Far, very far. Steep, very steep.

Yet how beautiful is this?! When in life have I ever had the opportunity to be wedged on the side of a mountain this high up? Um, never.

Overcome, I sense dry tears could flow. I am too dehydrated for wetness to form in my eyes.

“Are you tired?” SunFlo asks.

So tired.

I nod and wipe sweat with my shirt collar. The sun is intense.

“We’ll just sit a moment. We have plenty of time.”

I drink the water we purified earlier this morning. I’ve been thirsty for a while. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to make my ration of water last if the rest of our day is like Laurel Prong Trail has been.

SunFloJo hands me a dried mango slice. I eat it without hesitation. It tastes good, sweet. I need nature’s sugar.

We breathe and rest for a few minutes. We can not afford any more stumbles on this stretch.

Regaining some strength, I share, “I’ve tried to throw my anger and sadness off cliffs, over waterfalls and into fire this whole trip.” 

SunFloJo nods.

I pause, “Not sure how many more opportunities I’ll have.”

“Do you feel better?”

“Maybe lighter emotionally.” I continue, “I’m happy for our son. He’s going to go live his dream. I would never choose the risks and lifestyle of a military career for him, but it is what he wants. I’m going to miss him.”

SunFloJo listens.

“You have a baby and everyone warns you that they grow fast. Man, that’s the truth…. And maybe I need to let go of the non-profit dream. Perhaps I’ve laid the foundation and someone else will rise to take on the next steps. Maybe I need to make room for others to carry on the work. I am going to be open about whatever is next. I’m giving God back the dream. We’ll see what happens. When it is time to quit, I trust He will make it clear. It is so hard to turn away from doing something you love.”

More listening. We stare at the valley and mountains.

SunFloJo is completely still. I sense that I have however long I need on this log.

I can talk with God, her, or both. It doesn’t matter to her. She could say something. That would be ok.

But she doesn’t.

“And those girls.” I point to the right although the girls are well beyond us, “They are so smart, young and have such good attitudes. Lord, please don’t let them settle for anything that holds them back or weighs down their spirit. They are encouragers. They are free from restraints. Keep them free. Keep them blessed and upbeat like they are right now.”

I wipe my face. This is a new sensation; crying without tears because my body can’t produce any. 

SunFloJo asks, “That’s really more about you, isn’t it?”

 “Yes.” I choke on air, “It is.”

Silence.

I say, “I remember being like them.”

We sigh.

“I hear you, sweetie. Me too.”

Silence.

We stare and breathe, taking in the moment.

Guess we better get going.

I stand. SunFloJo hands me her last piece of dried mango. That should be enough fuel to get me to lunch. My legs went to sleep while sitting on our awkward perch. I fight through the sleepy muscles and get my feet moving.

Soon the rocks change back to tall grass. We are no longer on the edge of the mountain.

It takes a little while to catch up to the girls. 

“We see it!” Sunshine says about the trail intersection we’ve been looking for. “Just up ahead.”

The four of us approach our last trail marker. 

Sun rays filter through the trees to shine gently on the intersection spot. This is where Laurel Prong Trail dead ends into the AT making a very big T.   

It is finally time to eat lunch. We have not seen another human all day so we make ourselves at home in the intersection which is perhaps the widest path we’ve seen today. SunFloJo spreads out her sleeping mat for seating. I sit on a stump with my pack on the ground next to me. Stalker C is to my left with her legs stretched straight out on the ground. She starts to munch some chips.

I go for protein from Teriyaki Beef Jerky. I tear pieces of a tortilla to eat and unwrap ginger candy to hopefully boost my body. 

Sunshine sits on the mat with SunFloJo. She offers insight about the time she and Stalker C were alone, “We had a little moment.”

Stalker C rolls her eyes, “I kinda lost it. I am not going to make it much longer. My body and attitude are done.”

My head tilts.

Sunshine adds, “Her foot issue is getting worse. But maybe we won’t go up any more mountains from here. It looks pretty straight in the direction we’re going next.”

“Lies,” Stalker C says. “The trail lies. Can’t trust it.” She swats a fly, and then another. She shakes her head. “I’m losing it.”

“Oh, Honey,” SunFloJo laughs. “We just had a moment where Surrender was breaking down and then talking about how great your two girls’ attitudes are.”

The irony.

Sunshine snickers, “I wasn’t having a very good attitude the last few miles. That trail marker back there saying that it was another mile before we reach the AT just about sent me over the edge. I wanted to jump off the mountain for sure.” She sighs. “Alas, but now we’ve made it.”

Stalker C says, “We couldn’t believe how positive you two were being when we had to scale those rocks!”

“Us? Positive?” I say.

SunFloJo requests half chuckling, “Tell what you were hoping for their lives, Surrender.”

We laugh through the dirt and sweat on our bodies about how I hope they’ll maintain positive attitudes like they have today and be wise about sticking with positive people, to never let negativity hold them back.

Stalker C scoffs and her shoulders go back, “But now I’ve lost it. I’ve got a bad attitude.”

Sunshine Rat offers, “Stalker, you’ve had a great attitude. This is tough. We just lost it a little for a moment. We own it. We’ve got this. We’ll work it out.”

I smile. We are all humans on a mission managing the best we can with our minds and bodies. I look south down the AT as far as I can see, “Homestretch now.”

SunFloJo says, “I think it is funny that we were having separate meltdowns at the same time while admiring the opposite two.”

Laughter cleanses us.

After our revelation, we take time to breathe. I adore how our unique foursome respects quiet time. We are our authentic selves through strain, laughter, and peace. We value reflection time unanimously.

I stretch and recline for a few minutes.    

Sunshine Rat breaks our silence, “Stalker C, we haven’t hit our goal yet. We’ve only got one trail left,”

Sunshine turns to the older of us and says, “We thought we’d meet our dream mountain men this week and be swept off our feet.”

Stalker C says, “That’s right. We’ve gotta bring home our true loves from this graduation trip to our parents.”

Hmmm.

I offer, “There’s still time.”

This chapter is available on the Surrender On The Trail podcast too.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.

Psalm 34:8

Stalker C startles awake. She whispers, “What is it?!”

My words barely enter the air, “I. Don’t. Know.”

We are frozen, sitting up. We do not peek behind us yet.

I continue slowly, “We are going to have to turn around. I think it is in my backpack. Or outside. Or maybe both. I am hoping it is outside.”

We listen. She hears it too.

“Ok. I’m going to pull down my buff and look.”

“Ok, me too.”

We slowly tug fabric and turn. My eyes adjust. I don’t see anything moving on top of the pack. Thank God.

I gulp, then crawl closer to look. Nothing obvious is inside that I can see without putting my hand in the bag. I am too scared to place my arm inside or to widen the opening.

Then I hear something with four legs move away from the outside wall. It sounds big, bigger than a rat. I wince to stand and then look through a tall window. 

I can’t see past the darkness. I hope the animal is small. However, the sound is what I imagine a curious bear might sound like.

What do I know? Maybe I am wrong. I dismiss my fears by thinking: It was probably a skunk or possum. Mostly I am glad it was not indoors with us.

My heartbeat slows down, “I am so sorry I woke you.”

“It’s ok.”

“I was afraid.”

Stalker C nods.

Next door in the lights-out room our friends continue snoozing.

We try to get comfortable and go back to sleep with buffs back over our faces.

But Stalker C whispers, “Something is behind us.” And we become a fit of giggles. 

When we stop giggling, the quiet somehow makes us start laughing again and again. SunFloJo and Sunshine Rat must be deep sleepers. They do not stir.

Ok. I’m going to try to sleep. My back may split in two from the hardwood floor, but morning will arrive. I need legs that are ready to climb the next mountain.

3:15AM-ish

“Surrender!” Stalker C whispers.

I don’t move. Through the buff I say, “What?”

Stalker C sits higher than me. She says calmly, “There is a centipede barreling toward your head. I don’t know if you care or not, but if you do, we should do something about it.”

A centipede? Barreling?

I think it over, then pull the buff below my eyes. Sure enough the centipede scoots along a crack coming from the baseboard and heading my way. We will soon be face to face. 

“Fine.” I stand up and do a short pace back and forth considering what to do. I don’t think I can kill it. It is too big for me to stomach squishing it.

I need a plastic bag. Stalker C watches my body language. The nearest available plastic bag is on the hygiene product table in the front room. If I go in there, our neighbors’ motion activated light will turn on.

Stalker C reads my mind, “Don’t worry. They won’t wake up.”

I slip past our lightly snoring friends and grab a plastic bag. No one moves when their light comes on.

Back in our room, I realize I need a pen, stick or something slender. I eye Sunshine Rat’s pen on a small table. I walk back in to grab it. Still no one wakes up.

Whew! This is good. Those two will be rested and able to go for help tomorrow when Stalker C and I are not physically able to finish.

I twirl the centipede onto the pen and deposit it into the plastic bag.  I poke a tiny hole in hopes of giving oxygen to the centipede and place the bagged friend on the windowsill.  “I’ll let you free in the morning, Little One. Hope you make it.”

Back to “bed”.

4:15AM-ish

Stalker C whispers, “Surrender, there’s a spider.”

Oh, dear God. Where?

I roll over toward her and remove enough of my buff to expose my left eye.

“Right there.” She points high on the wall on her side of the room and above our feet.

I say, “That’s like five feet up.”

“It’s been there for a while.”

I have nothing left. “It will go away.” 

Or drop right on us. I look toward the window to see if there is any sign of daybreak. Seeing nothing yet, I roll over and slip back into whatever sleep level I can.

5:45AM-ish

I look at the sky through the window. That is not black. I see a little blue.

We can’t let Ted down. I’ll get my stuff together, change my pants and then wake the others.

Assembled, I try to say gently, “Good morning girls. We gotta go. Make sure you have everything.”

Stalker C mumbles, “We can’t disappoint Ted.”

Now that the party stirs, I slip outside to add the wet socks to my dirty laundry bag.

Sunshine says hopeful, “I wonder if Ted is making coffee for us.”

SunFloJo says, “Oh I hope so.”

I pee outside to start the day well–the outdoor bathroom expert that I am. I search each room making sure we haven’t forgotten a single thing or left any crumbs. 

The centipede is set free on a porch rail—possibly still alive. It was hard to tell.  

The last thing I grab and put on my feet are the socks from the security cameras.

Then we shut the door behind us.

We pass the fountain in the center of Rapidan Camp. Last night Ted told us how the fountain still works, but no one is sure exactly how it drains. I think the fountain looks lonely with no buildings around it anymore. I picture the bear walking by it in the mornings. 

The bear isn’t here today, is it?  Hopefully it will sleep in after such a stormy night. I keep an eye out just in case.

Passing The Creel house, Sunshine smells for coffee. Nothing. Ted doesn’t have to be up this early. Hopefully we get to see him tonight.

We walk across the bridge and over the river so Stalker C and Sunshine can use the outhouse. They take one step in and walk right back out. 

SunFloJo asks the girls, “Smell too bad?”

The girls nod. No way they can accomplish anything in there.

SunFloJo and I stand on the bridge and look over the river that is easier to see from here today in the morning light. Wow, we crossed that yesterday?

We walk on, looking for our next trail.

It is early. Maybe 6:15am or so.

Sunshine looks at her boob-o-meter, “With any luck we’ll be back to Big Meadow by 3pm and have time to shower before Ted arrives.”

That’s a good thought ‘because we need showers. Desperately.

We walk behind Rapidan Camp now. To our left is clearly marked Fork Mountain Trail. But in front of us we have a dilemma. There is a small width trail left of a trail marker post. And about eight feet and to the right of the trail marker is a wider width trail that kind of looks like a road up the hill.

Which one do we take? Which one is Laurel Prong Trail?

We guess that the trail marker being next to the smaller width trail must be the correct answer. So we begin. 

Morning sun sparkles through the trees. This trail closely follows a tiny creek that I assume is Laurel Prong Creek. I think about how this looks like where Smurfs might live. There are mushrooms and many moss covered rocks. The landscape is wet and cool from the downpour last night.

We continue half a mile and then the mossy creek trail ends. There is no right, left or forward choice.  We picked the wrong trail.

Sunshine says, “Great start, Steam Team. Good thing it is so early.”

Stalker C, “Yeah, we didn’t disappoint Ted. Early start and already an excursion.”

SunFloJo, “We have plenty of time to get to the Tap Room before 6pm.”

Sunshine, “Because that’s trash and laundry time. We gotta be there by then.”

We spread out along the thicket. Sunshine says, “Hold up.”  We pause to give Stalker C a moment to pee ahead of us.

Back to the trail marker post we switch gears and head up the hill on what must be the real Laurel Prong Trail.

Uphill. Ouch. My foot to shin angle feels like about 45 degrees.

Soon we enter what feels like an enclosed wet wood forest with more browns than greens. There are many twists and turns.

The tall trees intertwine their branches above our heads to form a roof of leaves. A sea of ferns gathers on the lumpy and bumpy mountainside. The ferns are not as thick as we saw in places yesterday, but their bright green waves contrast the many fallen logs and large rocks.

Occasionally the three front runners pause so I can catch up. We are a human slinky; widening and closing our gaps as we walk.

Surely, we are getting close to the top. This is supposed to be a 5.7 to 6.7-mile day, but I must remember: the trail lies.

Mentally I am prepared for and 8 to 10-mile day, but if it’s all up hill like this I am going to be in trouble. My heart rate is up as if I’m midway through a Jazzercise class or something.

When we have walked 2.5 miles according to Sunshine’s boob-o-meter, we see something. 

We stop to look left. Probably 40 feet off the trail is a clearing where someone made a big circle of cut back trees and bushes.

“That must be the fire ring we were supposed to stay in last night,” SunFloJo says.

Stalker C eyes the vast forest in every direction of the burned space. She says, “Oh thank God for Ted.  We would never have found that at night.” 

“And the mud would have made it rough,” Sunshine Rat adds.

We shake our heads and shiver at the thought. We would have missed it. No doubt.

SunFloJo says, “Well if anyone asks, we stayed overnight at the Fisherman’s camp just outside of the national park just down from Rapidan.”

“That’s right,” we say. 

© Copyright 2016 Surrender On The Trail – Glenna S. Edwards

If you’d like to listen to the Audio Version or support this creative work, click here for my Podcast SURRENDER ON THE TRAIL.

If you’re new to this story and want to begin at the beginning, go to the page on this site called SURRENDER ON THE TRAIL.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcomes it.  John 1:15

Yep. It is urine.

Dehydration and the highest level of exhaustion in my lifetime wreaks havoc on my body.

No one notice. Please no one notice. I beg the room to turn me invisible.

Silently I blame the numbness and pray no one smells this new discovery.

Ted leans against the front door frame. I remain seated in a puddle. He says, “Well. Get some rest and just shut this front door good–both tonight and in the morning.”

Sunshine assures, “Oh, we absolutely will.”

“Ok. Good night.” Ted grins, then saunters toward the porch stairs to head back to The Creel House. Rain continues pouring beyond these old walls.

For now, we leave the solid door open. A screen door allows the flow of outside air and the sounds of drenched nature. I thank God for a bit of wind outside. 

I take off boots and socks. I place the socks under my bottom.

Mentally I inventory what is left in my pack that could be useful. So much stuff is back in the bear box at Big Meadow. I have a pair of shorts that will work to sleep in overnight while my pants dry. I have a change of underwear and two pair of clean socks. Oh, and “Wilderness Wipes” to clean numb girl parts.

I miss out on the bliss happening four feet from me. Three fourths of the Steam Team glow pure joy through their sweat and dirt.

SunFloJo filters water from the creek. Stalker C and Sunshine eat and smile regarding our salvation. I hear Sunshine giggle words through cracker chewing, “Remember when Surrender was totally relaxed walking along the ridge and then snapped when we thought we were lost?!” 

They mock together in unison, “We shouldn’t have crossed that #*&%@%^ river!” Laughter fills the tiny cabin built for a Prime Minister.

I half smile to blend in. No one can believe how lucky we feel right now as even more thunder and lightning fill the sky. Someone says, “We get to be dry tonight!” 

Well, they may soon be dry.

I am not so sure about my situation. There will be no food for me until I recover. What should be easy to clean up is excruciating. My body shoot pins through my muscles every time I move an inch.

My socks are yellow. I roll them up and manage to stand. We do not have a sink to rinse anything, so I make my way along the wall, around the girls without getting too close. Surely by now their noses are consumed by their own body smells. A girl can hope.

Flip flops are near the top of my bag. I grab them. Out on the porch, I walk to a railing near the flowing creek below–one of the creeks that empties into the now infamous river. 

Thank you, God, for this rain that acts as a faucet. I hold out the socks and wash them as best I can in the rain. The rain is so heavy that this is not a bad solution. Isn’t it interesting that the very thing (rain) that was a burden minutes ago is now the exact thing I need to accomplish a task?

Oh, my. Do I need to pee again? I think so. Man, I am messed up!

After rinsing and wringing multiple times, I determine that the best place for the socks is outside the cabin tonight. I leave them stretched on a wooden bench farthest from the door. Hopefully, that does not attract animals. Or maybe my scent will keep them away?

I hold up my hands to rinse them in the rain. I take the steps down to gravel and enter a path that leads closer to the creek. I wonder if Ted is watching from a distance.

Oh well. I cannot worry about him in this moment, and I cannot risk ruining these pants. I need to wear these on the hike tomorrow. Shorts might be good for dryness overnight, but pants in the deep woods is best. I stress about not falling off balance. My legs are weak, but my determination is strong. 

I ponder the power of my Boy Scout pants. I think they will dry quickly. I thank God for fabric made for outdoor living.

SunFloJo comes outside for similar reasons. I go back inside and pause to keep the screen door from slamming. I observe there are three total rooms to this building other than some doors that have locks on them which may be closets.

I move my backpack to the room adjoining the main room. I dig out a Ziplock bag of clean underwear, new socks, and my shorts. I also grab the pack of Wilderness Wipes. 

Walking into the main room where they still are eating, I announce, “I’m going to the back to change.”

“Ok.”

In the back room, I eye small cameras overhead in the corners of the room. Hmmm.

I put a clean sock over each camera—just in case. Perfect! 

The white wooden windows have no curtains, but there are many evergreen branches touching the glass from the outside. I pull off clothes being careful to put dirty underwear inside a plastic bag. I read the instructions on the Wilderness package, clean up and put the used wipe in the plastic bag too. I remember “Leave no trace behind, aka leave no garbage. What you pack into the woods must come out of the woods, etc.” I do what I can with deodorant and accept the result. 

Ahh, I feel a little better. My numbness may be awake again. The rest of me aches as if beaten by a baseball bat.

I return my belongings to the red backpack, thinking of Amy who allowed me to borrow it.  She is among the friends and family who think we are out in the middle of the woods right now. Well, I suppose we are, just inside a building inside the woods. I wish I could tell them so they do not worry.

I stuff everything back in the pack except leave my pants out to dry. Surprisingly, the pants aren’t wafting any obvious odors. Thank God.

Finally, I can eat something. 

“My Houdini needs attention,” Stalker C mentions. We giggle of course.

“Wilderness Wipes,” I offer.

“Me too,” say the other ladies. “Hygiene matters.”

We make a body cleansing station right on top a President Hoover history placard shelf. Team members take turns in the back room. Each time someone notices the socked cameras, we hear giggles. “Genius,” says SunFloJo.

Sunshine and SunFlo begin to tour the museum pictures and read signs in each room. I have been observing as well.

“Lou Henry Hoover was ahead of her time,” Sunshine says.

“Yes, she was. Looks like she graduated from Stanford with a Geology degree in 1898,” says SunFloJo.

“That’s where she met Herbert Hoover.” I chime in and read, “She was an avid outdoors person. She oversaw the design of Rapidan Camp and she spoke proficient Mandarin Chinese.”

Stalker C says, “What an amazing woman.”

“Check out some of her quotes,” SunFloJo points out.  We read:

“The independent girl is truly of quite modern origin, and usually is a most bewitching little piece of humanity.” 

“I majored in geology in college but have majored in Herbert Hoover ever since.” 

“I was a Scout years ago, before the movement started, when my father took me fishing, camping and hunting. Then I was sorry that more girls could not have what I had. When I learned of the movement, I thought, here is what I always wanted other girls to have.”

“The independent girl is a person before whose wrath only the most rash dare stand, and, they, it must be confessed, with much fear and trembling. “

I think about how Lou Henry Hoover probably stood where we stand tonight. And how she helped lead the way for girls to earn college degrees long before the four of us in the room pursued our own education.

The lights in the three cabin rooms have motion sensors. If you sit still in the front and back rooms the lights will turn off. The small side room light where Stalker C’s and my stuff is; however, stays on no matter how still you sit.

Sunshine Rat and SunFloJo lay out their pads and sleeping bags in the front room.

“We technically should go in the back room,” I think out loud as we lay in the bright light.

Stalker C says what I also think, “Seems secluded back there, though. I’m afraid of the mice Ted hasn’t seen in a while.”

“Me too.” And I shouldn’t have added, “I’m afraid of why those mice are missing.”

Stalker C shivers, “Surrender.”

She sighs, “Darn snakes in the rafters next door. Wish Ted hadn’t mentioned those!”

“Exactly.”

“I can sleep with the lights on.”

“Me too.”

I look toward the front room where Sunshine and SunFloJo settle in to sleep. They practically cocoon.  They know how to make the most of this roof and walls. My sleeping equipment won’t allow such a full body and head wrap like them. Even with an extra-long sleeping bag I do not fit all the way inside comfortably. I eye the wide hardwood planks and decide which location I will try to place the useless small mat to meet part of my body.

We may have walls, but they are old walls. I see the cracks and holes big enough for a mouse to enter. I hear the rain smack the porch wood about three feet from me. I lay right next to what I assume is a storage type room. A padlock and a light under the door are inches from my nose.

Stalker C lays next to me. On the other side of her is the doorway to the front room. We hear SunFloJo get in rhythm with dreamland Zzz’s. Sunshine and SunFlo are physically still long enough that their room light goes out.

Stalker C and I squirm to get comfortable in the light and harsh floor. At our feet is the door to the back room. The light goes out back there. We should try to sleep in there. But I just can’t. 

Stalker C and I look at each other. I suspect we share the same thoughts. Something about that room isn’t quite right. She looks toward the back room, then at me and shakes her head “no”. I agree with a nod.

My eyes dart to the storage door next to me and then at the no longer used second porch door behind my head. My backpack sits near the unused door. I pull a brown buff up over my face. If something crawls on me, it is not touching my eyes, nose, ears, or mouth. 

“Good night,” I muffle.

1:30AM-ish

I see light through my buff.

And I hear something. 

Don’t move.

Eek. It sounds like a small animal is walking around or inside my backpack.

Like, a mouse. Or a rat!

I wait. I listen.

Scurrying continues. Buff still on my face, I contemplate the number of inches between the top of my head and the backpack. Not many. 25 inches. Maybe.

Is the scurrying inside only? Or are there paws moving around outside too? 

Listen.

Still listening.

Lord! Help me! There is something on the outside wall. It sniffs and walks back and forth.

AND I hear the inside movement. Maybe. I am not sure if something is on the inside or just outside on the porch.

Whatever it is, is it going to get us?

US! I remember. Stalker C is still sleeping. 

Stalker C told me once months ago that she cannot hear well out of one of her ears. Maybe I should not bother her. Or maybe she would want to be bothered so whatever it is does not crawl near her.

My heart pounds.

The fear takes over.

I sit straight up, buff still over my eyes.

My hand raises straight up and straight down onto Stalker C’s leg. I whisper through my buff, “Something. Is. Behind. Us.”

Thanks for reading. To listen to my podcast, please subscribe to Surrender On The Trail on your favorite podcast platform.

© Copyright 2016 Surrender On The Trail – Glenna S. Edwards